Is it Crazy to Raise Kids in the City?
by Avi - March 1, 2010 at 10:02 pm -

Editor’s Note: This is a monthly column by Rebecca Levey, a freelance writer and the mother of two girls, about raising children on the Upper West Side.
By Rebecca Levey
Are city parents crazy? This is the question that a dad blogger posted on his site last week upon returning home to the Midwest after a four day trip to New York City. I always think that while I am certainly not crazy, this kind of question always brings out the crazy in me. First I get defensive – the knee jerk well how can YOU live in the cultural, ethnic, culinary wasteland that is the suburbs? Then I go into my why New York City is the best place ever routine – oh the museums, the landmarks, the food, the theater, and the one that always freaks out everyone, we don’t even own a car! But truth be told that routine is getting a little stale. Why do city parents really want to raise their kids here?
All of the reasons I listed above are of course true, but do they really outweigh the small spaces most of us live in, the lack of backyards and basements, the battle for kindergarten admission, the financial costs and the ever-nagging sense that city kids grow up too fast? No, I think there’s more to it.
My daughters are in second grade and their social studies curriculum is all about New York. They happen to attend a great public school that is outrageously field trip happy and this course of study lends itself to exploring neighborhoods. I love this aspect of the curriculum because the strange secret of New Yorkers is that they rarely venture outside of a ten block radius from their homes except to commute to work (and as a writer that would mean the walk to my kitchen table) We eat at the same restaurants over and over again, we go to the same playgrounds every weekend, and we shop at the same grocery and drug stores on a weekly basis. With everything at your fingertips it’s easy to take it for granted and not take advantage of all the things that the city has to offer. It takes effort not to fall into a lazy New York lull of the familiar.
And this is why it’s always so shocking to me when people ask me how I can raise my kids in New York City. I don’t really raise my kids in New York City, I raise them on the Upper West Side. We zip in and out of other areas on weekends – Flushing for dim sum, the East Side to museums and the zoo, Times Square for the theater, downtown for gallery hopping, Chelsea Piers for bowling and ice skating, Brooklyn for old friends and family, and of course Central and Riverside Parks for grass, trees and nature – but at the end of the day we come home to our small town. It’s the best of all worlds. A familiar place called home nestled inside the most exciting city in the world. And that is why I am not crazy to raise my kids in (the Upper West Side of) New York City.
Rebecca Levey is a freelance writer and mother of twin girls. She lives, works, parents and tries to maintain her sense of humor on the Upper West Side. You can follow her travels and adventures at www.beccarama.com
(photo by roeyahram via flickr)















I would love to be able to afford to live in NYC. We live upstate and travel at least once a month to the big apple. Our daughter (9) thinks it is the best place on earth.
People in the Midwest (and frankly, on the other side of the Hudson) have no idea how great it is having children in the city. I prefer zipping around town in subways, buses and cabs rather than lugging children in and out of a car.
My guess, after a lot of interaction with Midwesterners, that they mostly understand New York and New Yorkers through TV–Would you want to live in a city where there is a violent murder several times a week (CSI; Law & Order…), or People are self absorbed (Seinfeld; Friends, etc…).
In My experience, real New Yorkers will give you directions, help you when you are in trouble or lost, and even give you a shoulder to cry on (or at the very least ignore you while you cry on the subway). It is the tourists (those dear Midwesterners) who when visiting our lovely city become the people they see on TV: rude, self absorbed and even a little pushy…
Sara,
While I whole-heartedly agree with your experience of real New York, for the sake of my poor Midwestern born and bred husband I have to say that I get the appeal (mostly in the summer) of having a backyard and shiny new schools, not mention much less expensive housing. But, yeah, after 16 years in NYC my husband has a harder time going back to the Michigan burbs for vacation than I do!
Having been a city kid on the UWS I can say that I absolutely LOVED growing up in NYC. Agreed that it’s not cheap but the life experiences are unmatched.
At the moment I am a new NYer, here from the mid-west to provide childcare for my grandchildren. It seems to me that the claim that NY has so much to offer is only true if you are very wealthy . Free things like parks are great but limited to good weather days. The subway is outrageous in its inability to run on time, keep elevators functioning and be an easy way to take children to the unmatched experiences. In the midwest you don’t need money to enjoy a backyard. Those who claim to be thrilled to grow up here are stimulation junkies. Competition to enter preschool is obscene. Prices for preschool is another obstacle. Living here requires parents to both work full time and then they only get to be part-time parents.
So why have the children?